August 29, 1849: “The Girls of Milwaukee”, by F, published in the Milwaukee Sentinel.
The anonymous writer, F, presents his requirements for a girlfriend.
Once more, my rude harp, I would waken thy string;
Smile on me this once, poet-gods—while I sing;
Though writing love-ditties, by no means my trade is,
I’ll sing of the charms of the Milwaukee Ladies.
For the Girls of Milwaukee are fairest and best
Of all the fair ladies I've found in the West;
You might roam thro’ creation, from Dan to Chautauque,
And ne’er find “the like” of the Girls of Milwaukee.
They can wait on themselves—their own persons adorn.
They sleep in the night, and they rise in the morn,
Here and there, though perchance, there be some Aristoc-
racy,
Yet the mass are kind-hearted, and full of Democracy.
Let the master of song, beyond Ocean’s blue waters,
Praise the maids of Circassia, or Spain’s dark-ey’d daugh-
ters;
Of Orient Beauties ’tis nonsense to talk, he
Knows nothing, I ween, of the Girls of Milwaukee.
Ye sordid old bachelors, selfish and stupid,
With hearts never prick’d by an arrow from Cupid,
With all your cold-heartedness surely ’twould balk ye
T’ encounter the glances of Girls of Milwaukee.
Lo! Yon laughing maiden—how rosy her face is,
How charming she looks in her mulls and her laces,
And sack coat, (or rather a sort of a frockee,)
Oh! who can help loving these Girls of Milwaukee?
Dear Ladies, indulge in no quarrel or strife
When I hint that your bard(!) is in want of wife!
Don’t slander your rivals, nor angrily talk ye;
You know I can’t wed all the Girls of Milwaukee.